Words of Wisdom From Confucius

Words of Wisdom from The Great Man of Words.

Confucius says that follow this words of wisdom and many great things will bound be bumping on you.

Your pen got no ink your pen-is broken ."
"Man who fall in vat of molten glass, make spectacle of self."
"Man who stand on toilet is high on pot."
"Cow with no legs, ground beef."
"Man who drop spice rack in toilet have shitty thyme"*
"Leely cows, good at making file."
"Man who buy drowned cat, pay for wet pussy."
"Butcher who back into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders."
"Man who takes girl on camping trip have naughty intent."
"Man who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary."
"Man who catch many fish by rubbing worm, is master baiter."
"Man who fart in church, sit in pew"
"Passionate kiss like spider web, soon lead to undoing of fly."
"Girlie who sit on judge's lap get honorable discharge."
"Chicken that crosses the street is moving poultry."
"Crowded elevator smell different to midget."
"Man who walk through airport door sideways going to Bangkok."
"Good to meet girl in park, better to park meat in girl."
"Man who stand in front of car get tired, but man who stands behind car get exhausted, too."
"Man who sit on tack may rise to great heights."
"Man who take donkey out of race scratches his ass"
"Man who go to bed with itchy ass wake up with smelly finger"
"Man who fuck other man gay"
"It takes lots of wood and bolts to make crib, but only one screw to fill it"
"Baby in front seat of car make accident, but accident in back seat of car make baby."
"Man who drop watch in toilet have shitty time."
"Man who put cream in tart not necessarily baker."
"Man with long March ahead may have broken calendar."
"Baseball is wrong! Man with four balls, he cannot walk."
"Man who fishes in other man's well catches crabs."
"Man who smokes pot chokes on handle."
"Man who sticks penis in peanut butter is fucking nuts."
"Man who drive like hell, bound to get there."
"Wife not part of furniture, until screwed on bed."
"Panties not best thing on Earth, but next to it."
"State of pregnancy exist when woman takes seriously something poked in fun."
"Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get tone of A flat miner."
"Man who live in glass house, change in basement."
"Man who stick hand in pocket feel cocky all day."
"Man who stick hand in others pocket is happy all day."
"Man who sits on top of a frozen hotdog is gay."
"Man who bites pillow soon be down in the mouth."
"Man who plays the game is destined to lose it"
"Man who write on restroom wall roll his shit in little ball, he who reads these rhymes of wit eats those little balls of shit!"
"Man who can have sex with anything is American."
"You may be a cunning linguist, but Confucius is master debater!"
"To eat is sex."

Confucius says many good and prosperous things will bumping into you if you follow what me say.

P.S-All credits go straight to Uncyclopedia for this!